Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Gay Genes And Celebrities

Okay, so I don't know anything about genetics. I leave that to my hot friend Sven. But I do have kooky theories. And this one is one of my favorites.

So, everyone knows what gaydar is. It is the supposed innate ability of gay people to recognize one another. I say supposed because the system doesn't always work. The gays get false alarms all the time. Sometimes, it can be chalked up easily to wishful thinking (i.e. "He is so hot he has to be gay!"), but I think there is more to it than that. Hence my theory and the proof is in the celebrities we worship.

Let's say that being gay is genetic. Plenty of evidence pointing that direction. In looking at gay as a genetic trait, it can be assumed since 100% of the population isn't gay, that it is a rare and/or recessive genetic trait. Right now, science is looking at all sorts of genetic markers, physical characteristics that might be tied to the gay gene (butch women, femme men, and all the stereotypes in between, plus some new ones). These markers could be the key to "gaydar" since it is a lot easier to surmise that a woman with a short haircut and sensible shoes is a lesbian. However, not every gay person is such a blatant gay stereotype and yet the gays still peg them as one of our own. And whatever that intangible is, I suspect that the gays recognize it not just in actual gay people, but also in the carriers of the recessive gene, such as the close genetic relatives of gay people.

A couple of years ago, I started noticing a pattern in our biggest gay icons: close gay relatives. Why do the gays love Barbra Streisand so much? It happened long before she had a gay son. The same goes for Cher, who has a lesbian daughter. Madonna has a gay brother. There are so many gay branches on the Judy/Liza tree, it explains the gay frenzy.

Then, a couple of years ago, I saw one of those ads for one of the gay organizations showing straight celebrities with their gay relatives and one of the celebrities stood out: Ben Affleck. Early in his career, he joked that he and Matt Damon were like a gay couple and the gays have always taken a shine to him. I initially thought it was because he was attractive and seemed gay friendly. But as my theory formed, I started to wonder if the attraction gay men felt to certain female celebrities was also true of some of the male celebrities they lusted after too. Ben Affleck has a gay cousin, but Colin Farrell, who the gays went NUTS for, has a gay brother. My theory was further fueled yesterday by a casual mention from Perez Hilton that Fantastic Four hunk Chris Evans (a major gay lust object) also has a gay brother (and this one is hot).

Maybe there is a connection. Maybe it's just dumb luck that two of the hottest male icons for the gay community also happen to have gay brothers. Or maybe there is something in the genes and we are just recognizing it. It might explain why some stars who try to court the gay community don't succeed and others we never let go of them. Or maybe we just need reasonable explanations for why even as grown adult people we turn into 14 year old girls over the latest cute boy.