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| A Cute Guy On The Cruise, Derek and Terry - March 2002 |
Maybe it is fitting that we met as friends so long ago in a way that no longer exists, on a BBS, a bulletin board service called Delos. It was barely the internet, just a local number to connect computer modems. Virtually no one had photos in the dark ages of dial-up and as we talked, we both agreed it was a strange way to meet anyone. But filled with trepidation, we did meet as people did then, at The Abbey among the old terracotta statues and stale pastries. And then, so simply, we were friends.
I remember 1994, the bare wood floors of his new apartment, the light through the large windows. His myriad complaints about the unreliability of the service workers he hired and wrangled at Universal Studios. And how much fun we had through the rest of the 90s, hanging out together with our mutual friends on endless nights at the movies or house parties or Revolver.
As a kid, I thought it was ludicrous that Laverne and Shirley would move to Los Angeles and everyone from the Pizza Bowl in Milwaukee would somehow join them. But just as Dennis Hensley joked when he visited me in Manhattan, we did improbably have our own spin off of sorts in the big apple when Terry moved there a couple of years after I did. And in between we had a raucous and memorable mess of a cruise to Mexico where the ship hypnotist turned Terry into a local celebrity and the thin wall between our adjoining cabins was an endless topic of conversation.
When I think about Terry, I think about how truly good he was. I gave a toast at his wedding but what I remember most was driving Terry and Doug back to the hotel after it was over because he had thought of everyone else’s transportation out of the park but his own.
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| Suited Up For Terry 2012 |
I rehearsed my speech relentlessly and especially the ending. I wanted the toast to be lovely and funny because our friendship was always full of laughter, but I knew the range limitations of my own reed thin voice and I wanted everyone listening to know when the tone shifted, how much Terry meant to me as my friend, my dear friend, for all these years.
My mom had me when she was young and she likes to say that we grew up together. That's how I think of my time with Terry. We were so young when we met and we really became adults together. Our jobs grew in importance, we grew as people, our lives changed and moved around, but the fun never ended. So many bad movies, so much joy.
My mom had me when she was young and she likes to say that we grew up together. That's how I think of my time with Terry. We were so young when we met and we really became adults together. Our jobs grew in importance, we grew as people, our lives changed and moved around, but the fun never ended. So many bad movies, so much joy.
I wish I was writing another toast and hearing Terry’s generous laugh. I hate writing these things, not just because I have already written too many, but because it can never be enough to replicate who someone is. A hug from Terry was a wonder that words can’t convey. How do you talk about someone who was relentlessly full of life when that life lives only in your memory?
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| Terry hugs Paul - Mexico March 2002 |
After the cruise, our friend Paul had made a memories DVD for all of us who had been there, and a few years ago, Terry asked me for mine after his no longer played. “I’ll make you a copy!” he promised, but now like Terry himself, it lives only in my mind. On the cruise, the hypnotist had convinced Terry that he had a small precious bird in his hands. In true Terry fashion, he loved and protected the invisible bird with all his heart. And for all of us who knew Terry, we felt the same of him. But then, in the time it takes to snap your fingers, we opened our eyes and he was gone.
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| Together in 2008 |
